


Something You Need

by SilvermistNightray



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Drabble, M/M, but it's mostly just Tsukki and Yama, follows the canon timeline, happens right after the match with Shiratorizawa, there are mentions of the other members of Karasuno, this is just drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-18
Updated: 2016-03-18
Packaged: 2018-05-27 12:22:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6284362
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilvermistNightray/pseuds/SilvermistNightray
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yamaguchi Tadashi was your closest friend.</p>
<p>But, somewhere along this crazy road of eccentric team captains, annoyingly loud teammates, and refreshing Tokyo summer camps, something changed. And when he refused to call you uncool even when you let Shiratorizawa get all those spikes pass your block... Well, it started to dawn on you.</p>
<p>Yamaguchi Tadashi was more than just your close friend.</p>
<p>He was someone you cared for. Someone you needed. Someone you loved.</p>
<p>You think its about time you finally tell him that.</p>
<p>---</p>
<p>Tsukishima Kei was your best friend.</p>
<p>But, seeing him change from the uninterested, sarcastic, arrogant smartass he usually is to the collected, rational, and calculated middle blocker that actually got along with his teammates... Well, it made you acknowledge the feelings you had long ago pushed away.</p>
<p>Tsukishima Kei was more than just a friend to you.</p>
<p>He was someone you cared for. Someone you needed. Someone you loved.</p>
<p>You are quite surprised when he decides to make the first move.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Something You Need

**Author's Note:**

> Many, many, many kisses and hugs to my awesome friend Pau for being my BETA Reader. I'm grateful to you for reading this at almost 1:00 in the morning, then proceeding to look for any grammatical errors and typos and highlighting them. This piece of drabble is for you. After the whole Shiratorizawa Arc, I know no one in the world can convince either of us this isn't what happened.

* * *

**Tsukishima Kei**

* * *

The faucet is running.

You watch as the water flowed into the sink, disappearing down the drain, continuing its journey to who-knows-where. You don't really care right now. You let it run. Let the sound of rushing water be the only thing echoing through the boy's bathroom of Sendai City Gym. Let it drown out the thoughts in your head.

You glare at your right hand, disgusted by the sight of white bandages tightly binding your pinky to your ring finger. You know it's irrational to blame your right hand for the injury. If anything, you have your whole self to blame, not just your right hand. If only you'd figured out Shiratorizawa's rhythm sooner, instructed your teammates on the timing a little better, stayed on the goddamn court a little longer...

_Pathetic._

You set aside your glasses and splash cool water on your face. Staring at your reflection in the mirror, your thoughts drift back to everything that happened earlier. You managed to stop one spike, but everyone acted like you stopped a hundred. The senpai were so grateful they hugged you. Hinata praised you. Coach Ukai went so far as to call you the MVP. And Yamaguchi...

Yamaguchi...

"Tsukki! The awards ceremony is about to start!"

His voice cut through your errant thoughts like a knife. It was something, you realize, only his voice could do. It doesn't completely stop your thoughts though. Not this time. Not when you desperately want his voice to snap you out of it. His voice, all the cheerfulness in it, the pride... It set you on edge.

"'How many did you miss?' Go on, say it to me." You almost scream the words at him, refusing to meet his eyes, knowing full well what you'll see in them. You don't want to get distracted, don't want to stray from the words you want him to say. "I only managed to stop one spike. We played five whole sets. I'm so un--"

"I can think of a lot of words, but uncool definitely isn't one of them!"

You jump back, surprised because he not only yelled at you, but also cut you off. His voice sounds so stubbornly sure, like nothing you can say will change his opinion of you in this moment.

When you turn your head to look at him, he's facing away from you, walking briskly towards the exit, arms curled into fist at his side. "This is not the time to feel sorry for yourself! We got Nationals! Nationals!" he continues to grumble. "...But before that, the awards ceremony." He adds that last part softly, like he's afraid it would only ruin the moment.

You pick up your glasses from the edge of the sink, putting them on with a wry smile. Leave it to Yamaguchi Tadashi to completely change the way you feel about yourself. You suddenly remember the way he yelled at you that one day of the summer camp in Tokyo. He the changed the way you felt back then, too.

You wonder how a mere friend, no matter how close, could do that to you. You don't dwell on it, though.

Tsukishima Kei, you and your team have Nationals to worry about. You'll think about your _friend_ later.

* * *

After the loud ruckus of lunch, after the tiresome task of getting Kageyama and Hinata conscious, after Coach Ukai's instructions to go home and get some rest, you find yourself walking home with Yamaguchi Tadashi right beside you.

It's routine, for both of you, to walk home together. You've been doing so since he found out you lived near each other way back when you were in elementary school. He always keeps his pace even, not walking too fast to stray ahead, not too slow to be left behind. You have your headphones on your head, but you keep your music off, letting the sound of your footsteps fill the void of silence between you.

It doesn't take you long to realize that this particular walk home feels different, somehow. You're awfully aware of his presence beside you, the slight warmth radiating of his skin, the low tones of a song you didn't know being hummed from his lips. With a discreet glance towards him, you notice him practically glowing in the afternoon sunlight.

You school your impression to hide that the way he looks affected you.

"Ah, Tsukki!" he says when you're at the turn to his house. "I... I'll see you tomorrow..."

You don't know what makes you both hesitate to separate, but you're grateful about it. You reach out to put a hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly. He looks up at you, confusion evident in his expression. The gesture is uncharacteristic of you, but you felt you needed to do it. "The game earlier..." You begin. "Hinata said you bought me some time while I was in the infirmary..." You take a deep breath. "Thanks."

He blinks.

You hold your breath.

His eyes widen in surprise, then a small smile creeps unto his face, until he breaks into a large grin and a red blush makes the freckles in his face that much clearer. "No problem, Tsukki!" He says cheerfully.

You let go of his shoulder and watch him turn to walk down the street toward his home. You don't leave until you see him unlocking their front gate, looking over his shoulder to give you a little wave. You turn to walk the rest of the way home alone, the empty space at your right feeling significantly more empty than any day of your life.

* * *

That night your brother congratulates you, probably more excited than you are at the being able to get the Nationals spot. He gushes over you, and you regarded him with a blank expression as Akiteru's eyes start tearing up. When both he and your mother ask about your feelings towards going to Nationals, you honestly reply that you were looking forward to it. You also sort of dreaded it, knowing you'll have to improve your blocks, among other things.

It isn't until you're in the privacy of your own room, left to your thoughts and devices, that you think about the road you had to walk to end up where you are now.

You started out playing because you had nothing better to do with your free time. You've been playing as a kid, and despite the whole incident with Akiteru, there really was no reason for you to just stop. You didn't think of it as more than just a club, though. You clearly remember those words, spoken to Nekoma's and Fukurodani's captains with Fukurodani's setter feigning indifference. You could have continued with that mindset, played with no real drive or motivation.

But, just as clearly as you remember your contempt, you remember Yamaguchi's words.

"Motivation?!" Yamaguchi's words echoes loudly in your head. "What more do you need than pride?!"

You let yourself smile in the dark, remembering just how cool he had sounded - acted - grabbing your shirt and pushing you back. Because he said those words, _because Yamaguchi Tadashi said those words_ , you decided to put more effort into your own style of play. Far later down the road, when he landed his serve in the match with Aobajousai, you finally understood what made him approach you like that. There you were as a regular, just recently putting effort into playing, and he'd been practicing those serves for so long only to spend a few minutes in the court.

You both tried your hardest to keep him on that court long enough for him to get five points off his serves. Though you ended up losing that set, you eventually won the game. He was very pleased with the bruise from Seijou's Ace's spike. You, on the other hand, remembered feeling very irritated by it.

Irritated...

Irritated...

Why?

You close rub at your eyes, note entirely sure of the reason yourself.

Ever since you got back from the Tokyo summer camp, you've been getting more and more irritated with things relating to Yamaguchi. The way he disappeared right after your match with Wakunan. The way he regarded the bruise on his shoulder with so much pride. The way he refused to call you uncool when that's all you were during the match with Shiratorizawa.

Why in the world are you getting so irritated?

He's the only person you would call your true friend. The one who was genuinely interested in your knowledge of dinosaurs. The one who buys you strawberry shortcake on your birthday. The one texts you every morning so you could walk to school together. The one who lets you draw constellations on his face with dry erase markers. The one who knows the real you hidden behind your warped personality.

Sure, he brags about you when you would rather he not. And he believes in you more than you believe in yourself that its almost sad. And he gets offended on your behalf when someone's insult doesn't even affect you. But these are his quirks, he's had them since you were kids, and since then it only embarrassed you. You're _never_ irritated with Yamaguchi.

If anything, you are in lo---

Oh.

Oh, okay.

You aren't irritated.

You're in love.

_You are in love with Yamaguchi Tadashi._

* * *

**Yamaguchi Tadashi**

* * *

It's the day after the match with Shiratorizawa and the buzz of winning is still fresh in your mind. If you close your eyes, you'll easily forget that you were in the school's first gymnasium, instead finding yourself in the center court of Sendai City Gym. The lights are bright, the excitement is high, and everything feels as if its falling into place.

That is, until you see your best friend wallowing in self-pity even though he largely contributed to the win.

You sigh, opening your eyes again and focusing them on the people bustling about you. You had just been told you were free to practice independently for now, practice matches and other such games still being arranged by your ever-hardworking Adviser. You look at the ball held firmly against your hands, taking time to breath and calm yourself, before throwing it in the air and hitting the kind of serve you all but ingrained into every corner of your mind.

On the other side of the net Hinata fumbles, diving to receive your serve as the ball suddenly swerves downard, landing just a few inches away from where Hinata had been positioned. "Wow, Yamaguchi, that was hard to receive!" He says in his usual chipper tone. "It feels strange having it right in front of you, and you think you know where it's going, but it just drops! That's so cool, Yamaguchi!"

You scratch the back of your head, embarrassed. "You got closer to it this time though, Hinata." You reply honestly, knowing the orange-haired boy was still a little privy about the quality of his receives. "When you've worked with the serve long enough, you'll get used to it, and you'll expect the dip."

"Really? That means I have to practice harder!" Hinata says with so much enthusiasm you just can't help but smile. "We never know, there might be jump floaters in some of the teams in Nationals. I have to be ready for them!"

"Why don't you practice blocking, instead?" Tsukki - Tsukishima, you correct yourself - interrupts. "Since you _are_ a middle blocker."

You let out an exasperated sigh as Hinata grumbles at Tsukishima, the latter easily ignoring the former's flailing arms. Despite the considerable distance and the volleyball net between you, Tsukishima still manages to catch your gaze and hold it. You notice something is different with the way he's staring at you with those golden brown eyes, not saying anything or even just looking away to dismiss any conversation. He just stands there, staring.

You're just starting to feel awkward when Tanaka claps you hard in the back, startling you enough to tear your gaze away from Tsukishima's. "Yamaguchi!" Tanaka announces in his accustomed booming voice. "Wanna try receive practice? You got that bruise from Seijou's Ace last time, right? That must have hurt a lot!"

You nod, remembering the bruise on your shoulder with great pride. "It did, but there's always the chance of getting injured in a game. It kind of made me feel proud, having that bruise." You confess shyly, glancing at Tsukishima only to notice him walking away. You wonder if he had anything he wanted to say to you awhile ago, but get distracted from asking him about it as Sugawara offers to set for Tanaka so you could receive his spikes.

You settle on asking Tsukishima later about what had been bugging him, accepting the help your Senpai offer and fixing up your mediocre-at-best receives.

* * *

Tsukishima surprises everyone at the end of practice when he asks if he could use the gym a little longer, explaining with as few words as possible that he needs to work on his blocking technique. This of course prompts the oddball duo to stay behind as well, both shouting variations of "I won't lose to you, Tsukishima!" despite the lateness of the hour, rightfully finding themselves chilled to the bone with the waves of darkness emanating from Sawamura.

You almost ask to practice a little longer as well but catch the warning glance Tsukishima sends your way, stopping you from even getting the request out of your mouth. It would have been for naught, anyway, seeing as Takeda-sensei promptly tells you all that even though it's good to practice and improve yourself, if you practice too much it will strain your body and lead to injury.

Takeda-sensei's warning, coupled with Coach Ukai's advice to rest up while you can, the team decides that going home is the best option. You notice Tsukishima, who is usually very eager to go home, hanging back a bit and letting the others leave before him. Even when you have you've finished buttoning your gakuran and slinging your bag over your shoulder, he still seems busy rummaging through his own bag, trying to find whatever it is he was looking for.

You lean on the side of the lockers and wait.

"Aren't you going to go home?" He asks, glancing quickly at you before going back to his task.

"It's okay, Tsukki. I can wait a bit." You reply, smiling reassuringly.

His expression turns sour as he stands up straight, looking at you with that same look in his eye he had earlier. "Just go home, Yamaguchi. You don't need to walk me home every day."

You frown, wondering just where his sudden change in attitude came from. And here you were thinking that he was finally opening up to the team. "I don't _need_ to walk you home every day." You begin, summoning the same bout of courage that had possessed you to confront him during the Tokyo summer camp. "I _want_ to walk home _with_ you every day."

"I _don't_ want to." He scowls, but you can see the feeling of disgust did not reach his eyes. "Not now."

You feel a pang in your chest. The same pang you've been feeling for a while now being the only first year in the team who isn't a starting player. "Why?" You ask, not caring at all that your voice almost broke, trying to school your face in the same way Tsukisihima - no, Tsukki, because you were alone - schooled his. "Why don't you want to?"

He looks down at you through his glasses - something he's only ever done once - when you first met in elementary school and he was passing by and called the boys who bullied you "pathetic". "Don't push the issue, Yamaguchi. I'm busy right now. Go home first." He dismisses you with a wave of his hand, bending to continue his rummaging.

You take a deep, calming breath. "Okay, Tsukki." You turn and leave the clubroom all too hastily, missing the way Tsukki clenches his fist and lets out a frustrated groan.

* * *

The week passes from your encounter with Tsukki, who starts increasing the number of hours he spends practicing. He seems to be getting more motivated about improving himself, and it makes you happy to know you had something to do with it. It looks like your words from the summer camp are finally rooting themselves in his mind. You increase your private serving practices with Shimada too, learning to improve your aim and your control. You feel that you both are falling into another routine...

But you had to sacrifice another routine in the process...

Walking home alone from Shimada Mart on Saturday makes you more conscious about the space to your left, devoid of the familiar tall presence that's usually there. You think you'd get over it, it's been a week after all, but the space just feels emptier. You end up thinking about how much time you actually spend with by Tsukishima Kei.

And how much time he spent with you in return...

You feel your heartbeat quicken, something that happens only when you think too much of Tsukki. You put your hand over your chest and squeeze through the fabric of your uniform, willing your heart to calm down. You haven't been feeling like this for a long time, not since he stopped drawing constellations on you whenever you slept over. You both grew up, your feelings should grow up as well. You slap yourself, willing away the thoughts in your head.

The thoughts don't leave your mind and linger till your staring at the ceiling in bed.

During nights like tonight, when you feel like reminiscing about the childhood you both shared, you wish Tsukki never found out about Akiteru. He was so thoroughly crushed when he found out his brother wasn't the Ace he thought he was. If that hadn't happened, then maybe he wouldn't have become Tsukishima, the cold and uninterested boy who got on everybody's nerves. Tsukishima was so different from who he was before. Sure, he liked to tease some people, but he didn't go out of his way to belittle them. He got into petty fights like every other boy, and he was kind of cold to others, but... He was so different.

You smile though, because lately, the boy you've always known as Tsukki started showing himself.

Tsukki was the boy who saved you from bullies all those years ago. Tsukki was the boy who played volleyball with you since you were in elementary school. Tsukki was the boy who couldn't care less how clingy you were. Tsukki was the boy who secretly loved dinosaurs, strawberry shortcake, and constellations.

_Tsukki was, is, and always will be the boy you love._

You just aren't sure if you have the courage to tell him that.

* * *

**...**

* * *

Tsukishima Kei stands in front of the gate leading to his closest friend's house, finger pushing at the doorbell. He usually just opens the gate and knocks on the door, but he isn't sure if Yamaguchi's parents had already opened the front gate. He laces his fingers together in front of him, a habit he picked up long ago from his older brother, waiting impatiently for someone to come open the gate for him.

He is just about to push the doorbell again when Yamaguchi, rubbing at his eyes and yawning, makes his way from the front door to the gate. The brunet obviously just got up, still wearing sleep-rumpled clothes and unlocking the gate in a half-conscious daze.

"If you still want to sleep I can come back later, Yamaguchi." The blond says, brushing past the waking brunet to walk up the front door.

 "Tsukki?" Yamaguchi mumbles, closing the gate. "Tsukki!" he exclaims having, it seems, been woken up fully by the blond's voice. "Why are you here so early? Did I forget something we had planned?"

"Not really." Tsukishima shrugs, stopping in front of the door and turning to face his friend. "I just wanted to tell you something. You think you're awake enough to understand me?"

"Oh yeah!" He smiles, moving to open the door and letting them both inside. "Yeah, I'm awake! I could even make us some breakfast if you want."

"If your parents wouldn't mind."

"It's just me today, Tsukki."

Tsukishima stiffens, one shoe still on as he held the other in his hand. "Just you?"

"Yeah." Yamaguchi replies, trading his outdoor slippers for his house ones. "My parents left last Saturday for a business trip. They won't be back 'till Monday morning."

"You should have told me about it."

"Sorry, Tsukki." He scratches the back of his head, smiling sheepishly. "We were both so busy practicing, I always forgot!"

"It's fine." Tsukishima assures him, following the shorter boy through the house into the dining area. "It just means this'll be a little easier than I thought."

"What is, Tsukki?" Yamaguchi asks, grabbing a frying pan from those hanging on hooks. He set about preparing ingredients from an omelet, oblivious to the way Tsukshima was looking at him.

A silence falls between them, and Yamaguchi whips around to finally look at his friend. "Tsukki?"

"Yamaguchi." Tsukishima begins, holding Yamaguchi's gaze. "I'm in love with you."

A loud clang echoes in the empty house as Yamaguchi drops the frying pan, his face burning bright red as he continued to stare at the blond in front of him. "Wha-Wha- _What?!_ " he yells, bracing himself against the stove. " _What?!_ "

"Do I really have to repeat myself?" Tsukishima scoffs, crossing his arms over his chest. "It's embarrassing enough I was the first one who said it."

"What do you _mean_ by 'the first one who said it'?" Yamaguchi is indignant, ignoring the pan still on the floor.

"Well, you love me too, don't you?" Tsukishima says with such confidence it makes Yamaguchi blush even more. "And since you weren't gonna say anything, I thought I'd make the first move for you."

"But--" Yamaguchi sputters. "But you were _ignoring_ me _all week_ , Tsukki! You didn't want to walk home with me! I thought, well, I thought did something to make you mad!"

"I wasn't mad at you."

"You sure seemed like it, Tsukki!"

"If you really want to know, I was mad at myself."

"Tsukki, why in the world would you be mad at your--"

"Because I took my position as a starting member for granted and didn't work hard at it when you practiced so hard just to be able to enter the match for a few minutes as a pinch server!"

Tsukishima has never really raised his voice at Yamaguchi before, and he immediately regrets it as he sees the brunet's eyes fill. He rubs at them, only to make the wet tears smudge his cheek, and Tsukishima just stand there, waiting for the shorter boy to say something.

"I was mad at you for that, too." He mumbles through his tears. "I was mad and I was  jealous, Tsukki. I'm the only first year who isn't a starting member, that sucks and I hate it."

"Yamaguchi--"

"No, let me finish, Tsukki!" He hold his hand up, cutting you off like he never did. "I was mad, but I thought that was irrational because you deserved to be a starting member. You have height and brains and intuition, you deserved to be on the court. But, during that trip to Tokyo, I realized just how interested you were. You didn't strive to be better than you already were, you didn't work hard just like the rest of us, you didn't have any motivation!"

"Motivation?" Tsukishima interrupts, his lips quirking up into one of his rare, genuine smiles. "What more did I need than pride?"

Yamaguchi stares at him, stunned. "Tsukki, you..." He breathes, tears welling up again. "You remembered what I said?"

"Of course." Tsukishima gambles and takes a step forward, reaching out to wipe away a tear that strayed down Yamaguchi's cheek. "How could I not when you were so cool when you said it?"

"I was cool?"

"Yes you were, Yamaguchi." Tsukishima places both hands on the shorter boy's cheeks, wiping away the tears with his thumb. "Now, where were you going with this?"

"I-I was..." Yamaguchi blinks, remembering. "I wanted you to know I was mad..."

"I got that part."

"But Tsukki..." He continues, reaching up to grab Tsukishima's wrists and slide his hands down. "You changed. You worked harder, spoke out more, started letting yourself be part of the team. You kind of reminded me of how Kageyama changed."

Tsukishima scowls in disgust. "Don't compare me with someone like him."

Yamaguchi giggles, letting his hands slide from the blond's wrist to lace their fingers together. "Sorry, Tsukki."

Tsukishima squeezes the brunet's hands. "You're not mad at me anymore, right?"

"I could never stay mad at you, Tsukki."

"Or jealous?"

"Or jealous."

"I didn't mean to ignore you last week."

"It's fine. I understand now why you did it."

"I missed walking home with you."

"I did too."

"Yamaguchi."

"Yes, Tsukki?"

Tsukishima raises an eyebrow, and it sends the shorter boy into a fit of giggles. He knew just what was going through the blond's mind. Tsukishima didn't have to say anything more.

"I'm in love with you too, Tsukki. I'm sorry I didn't make the first move."

Yamaguchi boldly closes the distance between them, moving Tsukishima's hands to his hips before wrapping his own around the blond's neck. Tsukishima leans down, tilting his head to avoid bumping his glasses, capturing Yamaguchi's mouth in a soft and lingering kiss.


End file.
